Thank you, friends, for your encouragement, support and critical comment on my new creative effort. The comments have been varied, from “WOW” to “Gotcha” (a clever play on my “I get you” plus “I’m wi’cha”), to “I don’t read blogs, take me off your list”. One professional media type liked my writing. Another former editor advised me to stick to topics in which I had some expertise—as in, who wants to hear about tennis from an over the hill suburban swim and tennis club weekend hacker? Once my dander got back down I got to thinking. Did my column reveal an obvious lack of expertise on tennis, or am I unqualified because I was never a tennis professional? Does having a father who loved to tell jokes and a Jewish mother give me the street cred to get up on stage and try my hand at a High Holiday, half asleep Jewish joke/holiday greeting or do we all have to stick to Seinfeld reruns? In this era of reality TV we see examples daily of delusional clowns who really think they have talent. As standout talent is rare, the major entertainment value of the shows is not in the discovery or display of real talent, but rather in the spectacle of us mortal folk reacting to harsh criticism and ridicule. It’s not easy. Still, I’m not delusional. Though I still fantasize about being a star professional baseball player (Sorry ladies, that’s what your men fantasize about too), I know the difference between a job and a hobby. I take a small measure of personal satisfaction in having more maturity and insight than say, Michael Jordan. He was the best basketball player ever and he left it all for what? Baseball. Then there’s A Rod. Now he’s got a real problem. You see, he’s already a baseball star. So what is he to do when he gets bored with his day job? You got it. He’s got to fantasize about sex. How else do you explain that Madonna thing?
So, there are jobs and there are hobbies. I’d like to be able to write about both, and maybe even about stuff I know nothing about. If I have fun writing it and you, the readers, are entertained, does it really matter if I’m no expert? If it does to you, don’t read the blog. I’d be happy to take you off the list.
Humor me a bit longer. I’ve still got this bug up my ass about expertise. What is it? Can it be objectified, rated, certified and licensed, and if so, who gets to do all that? Once the experts have spoken is there any voice left for us little people? Sorry. This is getting a bit heavy for this humble country doctor’s fledgling blog. I may be a gastroenterologist, but in my family I’m not even the most expert on bugs up the ass—that title would go to Lindsay, staff researcher for TV’s Monsters Inside Me.
Some random favorites and then I’ll sign off…
Wizard of Oz: They have one thing you haven't got: a diploma. Therefore, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universitartus Committiartum E Pluribus Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of ThD.
Scarecrow: ThD?
Wizard of Oz: That's... Doctor of Thinkology.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Now, uh, Ms. Vito, being an expert on general automotive knowledge, can you tell me... what would the correct ignition timing be on a 1955 Bel Air Chevrolet, with a 327 cubic-inch engine and a four-barrel carburetor?
Mona Lisa Vito: It's a bullshit question.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Does that mean that you can't answer it?
Mona Lisa Vito: It's a bullshit question, it's impossible to answer.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Impossible because you don't know the answer!
Mona Lisa Vito: Nobody could answer that question!
D.A. Jim Trotter: Your Honor, I move to disqualify Ms. Vito as a "expert witness"!
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Can you answer the question?
Mona Lisa Vito: No, it is a trick question!
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Why is it a trick question?
Vinny Gambini: [to Bill] Watch this.
Mona Lisa Vito: 'Cause Chevy didn't make a 327 in '55, the 327 didn't come out till '62. And it wasn't offered in the Bel Air with a four-barrel carb till '64. However, in 1964, the correct ignition timing would be four degrees before top-dead-center.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Well... um... she's acceptable, Your Honor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rn5-VN3SH1o&feature=fvw
“Long as you keep ‘em way off balance, how can they spot ya got no talents?” And all that jazz.
1 comment:
Someone said you shouldn't express an opinion unless you're an expert? Why, there'd be so little to read if that were the case. You might justify such a silly comment if degrees and licenses actually conferred intelligence or common sense. But alas, your reference to the Wizard of Oz is apt!
Suz
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