Take That!

William Safire died last month. He was best known as a speechwriter in the Nixon White House, the one who armed Nixon’s attack dog VP, Spiro T. Agnew, with alliterative phrases like “nattering nabobs of negativism”. I’m sure it delighted him, a man that boasted about being a college dropout that he could send us all hunting frantically for our dictionaries in order to understand the insults hurled our way. Though I now know that a nabob is a person of wealth or influence (initially a Mogul governor), I still see one as a bobblehead doll that somehow nods “no” when jiggled. If such a doll did exist, I would have one made of me, just to send to college with my kids. Whenever that devil would pop up over their left shoulder trying to lead them astray, they could consult me with a mere tap of the bobblehead and get my counsel, “NO. NO. NO”.

I used to look forward every Sunday to Safire’s New York Times Magazine column “On Language”. It was unique and clever, only at times espousing his conservative political views, but always letting the reader know who was right—he was. I asked him once to help me find the origins of the phrase “I keep the ends out for the tie that binds” from Johnny Cash’s “I Walk The Line”, but he never wrote back. Now I’ll never know.

George Carlin died one year ago. He was my other favorite word maven. He was also self-educated, a New York high school dropout and, like Safire, proud of it. Many of his stand-up routines revolved around words and their meanings. Most were crack-a-smile humorous like “If crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?” Others were more over the edge like his “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television”. That one got him arrested many times but never convicted. You can read the routine on line as it is quoted in the Supreme Court Decision of FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION v. PACIFICA FOUNDATION, 438 U.S. 726, 98 S.Ct. 3026 (1978). Read it at http://www.georgecarlin.com/.

Do you remember who was the first host on Saturday Night Live? It was George Carlin. He came back from the future in “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” and down from heaven in “Dogma”. “Scratch any cynic,” he said, “and you’ll find a disappointed idealist.” That attitude probably led him to be the original conductor on “Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends”. He inspired the likes of Richard Pryor and Howard Stern but was able to calm his demons early in his mid-life and never burn out (up?) or become ugly. Without him and Safire my Sunday night forecast is “dark,” but like George knew, “turning to widely scattered light in the morning”.

Before I sign off I’d like to leave you with a word and a phrase. The word is tennis. It is derived from the French “tenys” meaning “take this” or “take that”. The origins of our modern game of tennis are in a 14th Century game played by French monks. Apparently the game involved a lively repartee and, a la Monty Python’s medieval knights, the monks would often hurl insults at each other along with the ball. Ergo, “take that”.

The phrase is: give and take. It’s a lot nicer than the in your face, “take that”. There are any number of aphorisms about giving, but my favorite came to me from my mother-in law, JoAnn, who died before Barbara and I met. She said that in every marriage if you’re not giving 95%, you’re not giving enough. Now, even though at times I choose to take it as “okay, I only have to do 5% of the work around here” or “if I’m giving 10% I’m exceeding my wife’s expectations by 100%,” I usually take the advice to heart and give it a try.

As we head off to a joyous family wedding my thoughts are with the soon to be married couple and my wish for them to choose and use their words wisely, often and with a sense of humor, and to give and take, always giving, always taking and never forgetting the flexible give and take.

Special thanks to Valerie Byrnes, a genius of bobblehead.