“The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.” This Linus Pauling quote was the solution to a recent New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle. I knew when I read it that it would be the inspiration for a blog, I just didn’t know what the blog would be about. As I set out now to write, I still am not entirely sure. You see, I am no genius. For whatever reason, I just don’t have as many ideas as Pauling, a Nobel Prize winner for Chemistry and Peace. Albert Einstein agreed with Pauling. He was passionate about imagination and said it was more important than knowledge. It was his ability to be persistent, and be willing to imagine and fail 99 times that allowed him to be recognized as a genius when, on his hundredth attempt, he succeeded. The more you read about Einstein, the more you’ve got to like him. My joke about sex at 60 is that I’m for it, but you should at least pull over to the side of the road first. Einstein said the same thing in a different way: “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves”. I wonder what the first 99 girls were thinking.
I do have some ideas. Usually, they come to me at 4 AM. To those of you who have been faithful to PinpointAnalysis, you may remember my Naybob Bobblehead doll. Now that was a great idea. Can’t you imagine how many parents would buy one with their face on it for their kids in college. I’m sure it would be a big seller, especially if it contained an audio chip with a recording of the parent’s voice, “No, no, no!” I’d follow it up with one for the college freshman to balance out the parental advice with some that spoke more to the id. For the guys, there’d be the YeaMeg doll. It’s head would bob in the yes direction only and the recorded voice would be Meg Ryan’s from the Deli scene in “When Harry Met Sally” (see link below). An orgasmic yes, yes, yes, yes would do it for me. For the ladies I’m still not sure. It would have to be a multidirectional bobblehead, one that could be pushed in any direction. I think I’d leave the audio chip out, you know, keep him strong and silent, or just plain dumb. There would have to be a changeable face option, Antonio Banderas one day, Brad Pitt the next. The problem is that it might be nice to leave out the face altogether, a la Xaviera Hollander’s zipless sexual encounter. I haven’t yet figured out how to make a bobblehead with no face and a tight ass.
Another idea of mine is the Backapplicator. This invention is a long rectangular shammy towel designed to allow sunbathers to apply suntan lotion to their own backs. Utilitarian and feels good too! Imagine kiosks at the beach where you could either buy a Backapplicator or lie down on a massage table and be lathered up like a shoe getting buffed. I’d start this one out in California.
With the New Year approaching some of us reflect on the year, or decade, that is ending. Others look forward to the year to come and make resolutions of all sorts. Einstein said that our main problem is that we have perfected our means to get things done but are confused in our aims. For those of you who are reflectors, I think you’d have to agree. I’m more of a look forwarder. This coming year I’m going to follow the advice of two great Americans, Satchel Paige and Pat Paulsen. Baseball legend Paige said, “Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching”. Paulsen never won a US presidential election despite trying six times. Still, I’ll aspire to follow his campaign slogan, “I've upped my standards. Now, up yours”. A very happy and healthy New Year to you all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-bsf2x-aeE&feature=PlayList&p=0C96102F6BAD11D0&index=0&playnext=1
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